"Speaking of bodily functions, Andy got pooped on today!"


"Hey will you guys bring ice cream cones back for us?"
"Yeah, will you please?"
"But my hands will get cold!"
"Allison, we're doing this event on sacrifice!"


"People find my blog by searching for young girls in underwear..."


"You should really see LOST, it's like crack cocaine."


A group text to all the women on the team:
"Do you think beards are hot?"
Responses:
"LOL, depends on the guy, but I'm rather fond of goatees."
"Yeah, I think beards are hot."
"Ha ha, um, not really."
"Ha ha only crazy mountain man beards that could potentially be used to conceal a medium sized cat (wow talk about stuff on my cat) or perhaps braided back up into the sideburns. Seriously though it depends on the person. I'll go with a tentative yes."