"Hey, do you know how to pump gas? 'Cause I don't."


"OH MY GOSH!!!"
"What?"
"We just saw the new John and Andy!"

"I don't know him, but I feel that I'm sleeping with Pete"

The Single Life

“Did you do the ECCU transfers?”
“Yeah, we all have crushes on the ECCU guy!”
“He was so nice!”
“And so helpful and CUTE!!”
“Can we call him back?”
“No.”


“Our campus director is hot.”


“What’s going on with upgrading our internet?”
“Oh, I called today. I totally have a crush on the T-Mobile operator.”
"I'll call next time."

“Whoa, you guys, another guy got stabbed by a stingray!”
“Another guy?”
“Yeah, you know, like the crocodile hunter did?”
“Oh, right.”
“Some 80 year old-“
“What?! No way, there’s no 80-year-old scuba diver.”
“He wasn’t diving, he was in his boat and the stingray flew out of the water and landed in the boat and while he was trying to help it back into the water, it speared him!!”
“That’s not true. It’s some old man’s fable. He made it up or imagined it… What, you want me to believe a stingray flew into his boat and attacked him? No way. How would it launch itself out of the water?”
“Hey, the ocean is deep. It could get a running start! You know, like this…” [demonstration of stingray swimming rapidly towards surface]
Sputtered out while the rest of those present collapse into hysterical laughter:
“A running start? We’re talking about a fish here.”

[Rolling eyes] Taylor, you think you're the only person in the world who speaks Spanish. Did you know there's a whole country full of people that speak it?!

"Hey, lets park here; this seems good"

"I'll take that bedazzeled bag in the back..."
"That's my mother!"

[strange noises]
"He's a bigger baby elephant."
[very quiet strange noises]
"I'm a newborn baby elephant."


"Now that the men carry purses, we can wear tight pants like Sara and have them carry our stuff!!"


"Ladies, do you want to put your cameras in Andy's purse?"


"The bags at the market are all big and bedazzled."
"Huh, I thought they were kind of grumpy and plain."
[confused pause]
"The bags?"
"Oh! No, I was talking about the old ladies..."


"Want to know my favorite word? POSAO!!!!!"


"What are the three things you want to do before you end your life?"
(A helpful note on planning your suicide, courtesy of the STINT Playbook.)

"I just want a purse" - spoken by a male

"Do any of you ever get carsick?"
4 emphatic voices, "Yes!!"


"How do you fall while cross-country skiing?"
"You've obviously never seen Grandma Margitan's woods."

"Oh, let's take one more. I made the last one so that the tower was going up your butt."

"Uggh. I hate it when I start to laugh, because then I start to sweat."

"You look like a cancer patient right now."
"No, I'd say more like an Olympic speed skater."

The Beginning

"Adam looks younger after he sinned."
"Ah, so sin makes you look younger and more attractive."

"You have a crush on Matt Mikalatos?!"

"We invented your continent." said by Croatian student to American Stinter

"In heaven, marijuana will be legal, and it will be great."